“I’m glad you didn’t shoot me!” were the man’s final words
to me.
I was lounging on the screen porch of our condo that morning,
sipping orange juice as I read the paper.
I had returned already from my sunrise beach walk, and Andy was off on
his morning bike ride. The kids hadn’t
yet come over from their condo for breakfast, but I had left the front door
unlocked for their arrival. I heard the front door open and, thinking that it
was strange that they had come over so much earlier than usual, got up to greet
them. As I peered from the bright sunlight of the porch into the semi-darkness
of the interior, I saw the outline of my son-in-law getting water from the kitchen
sink. “Good morning!” I called. He
replied, “Good morning” and looked up.
It was not my son-in-law.
“Umm, I think you’re in the wrong condo.” (Every condo in the complex is identical in
layout and furniture.)
“Oh, I’m so sorry!” The man looked shocked and embarrassed as
he moved to the door so quickly that he even forgot to turn off the running
water. “This isn’t 2A?”
“No, it’s 1A.”
“I’m so glad you didn’t shoot me!” were his final words as
he slipped out the door.
Shoot him? While I’m not an expert on such matters, I don’t
think Bad Guys are older men who pause for a glass of water before doing their Bad
Guy Stuff. Even if he had been a Bad Guy, I was standing at the porch door and
could’ve been outside long before he could have gotten out of the kitchen.
While it was surprising to find a strange man in my kitchen, I never felt
endangered in the least. Why would he think that I would shoot him?[1]
Oh. Then I remembered.
We were in Florida.[2]
Luckily, I decided to stand my ground with just my own
two feet, which worked out perfectly fine for both of us.
[1]
Approximately 96.7% of the time, finding a strange man in my kitchen would
cause me to scream, run, and possibly fling large pots and pans. However, an old guy getting water from the
sink happens to fall within the 3.3% of non-panic inducing situations.
[2]
The George Zimmerman “Stand Your Ground” case continued to rage in Florida
newspaper editorials while we were there. I could’ve shot him, I’m pretty sure,
and not gotten convicted. Apparently, he was aware of that fact also.
