Monday, August 10, 2015

Snakenado



One of the cheesy delights of this summer’s vacation was the chance to watch “Sharknado 3.” In case you haven’t had a chance to watch any of the three Sharknado movies, the premise is simple: A bunch of deadly sharks gets sucked up into a tornado. The resulting sharknado proceeds to drop hungry sharks out of the sky, where they eat people in spectacular ways. Apparently, the only effective way to kill a shark dropping from the sky is with a chainsaw, especially if you happen to have already been eaten by the shark and need an exit strategy. (Does movie making get any better than this?) This year’s installment was particularly good, with plenty of chainsaws and cameos of celebrities getting eaten, including Jerry Springer and the entire cast of the Today Show.

Good, clean fictional fun, right? Well, it’s all fun and games until the fiction becomes reality.

One morning last week, I was sitting on the beach when I noticed a really cool scene unfold in front of me. A seagull was flying by with a 2-foot snake in its claws. I thought that was a pretty astounding feat for a small seagull. “You go, gull,” I cheered it on as it flew near me. I looked around to see if anyone else was admiring this spectacle, but the family next to me wasn’t paying attention.
Suddenly, two other gulls decided they wanted the snake for themselves and gave chase. In the ensuing skirmish, the seagull dropped the snake.

A few feet in front of me.

A snake. Dropping from the sky. Right in front of me.

Where is a chainsaw when you need one?

Stunned, I sat there in fear, waiting to see what the snake was going to do. It turned out that it didn’t do much of anything since it was already dead. Whew!

Again, I looked to family beside me. They still had not noticed anything. The gulls came back and had a noisy argument about who got the snake. The original gull settled the argument by proceeding to swallow the snake whole, beginning with the head. I was pretty impressed, because I couldn’t see how 2 feet of snake would fit into the gullet of a seagull.

The family beside me still hadn’t noticed this really cool nature happening right in front of us, but I kept watching, and the gull kept trying to swallow the snake.

Finally, the gull realized the enormity of its task and flew off, with half of the snake inside and half of the snake dangling from its mouth. After flying a few feet, the gull gave up and regurgitated the entire snake, dropping it harmlessly to earth. 

The gull flew away, and the dead snake lay where it had fallen, which was inside the beach bag of the oblivious family beside me.

Snakes falling from the sky. You never know what might happen next in God’s creation, but you always want to pay attention so you don’t miss out. And so that you’re not surprised when you unpack your beach bag at the end of the day.