I am not a runner. I used to be one. In high school, I was on the track team. I enjoyed the exercise, and it got me out of the agony of high school p.e. class. Granted, most of my high school track meet memories are of a tinny voice over the loudspeaker announcing, “There are still a few runners finishing the race, so please stay off the track.” Fast, I was not. But I was a runner back then.
I have a cousin who is a runner, even though she is a smidge older than me. She is a runner and a breast cancer survivor, and I admire her greatly for both of those things.
I am not a runner. However, Andy and I joined a gym awhile back. It felt like a guilty pleasure, yet another advantage of the empty nest. Instead of going to evening school programs, we now have time to take care of ourselves. At the gym, I have gotten into the habit of using the treadmill while watching television. A few weeks ago, I decided to try running for a few of minutes here and there during my workout. And then one night, I decided to try to do something I haven’t done for 35 years. I ran a mile nonstop. I’ve even done it a few times since, and I feel oddly proud of myself. But, I am still not a runner.
If I were a runner, I would feel committed to putting in ever-increasing mileage. As it is, inertia (or common sense) might kick in any day, and I will be back to walking my treadmill workout. That will be fine. As long as I’m not a runner, I can stop at any time, with no harm and no foul. No, I am not a runner, but I am someone who’s running right now.
I think that is why it is so important for me to bear the name “Christian.” It infers a state of my being, not something that I can stop doing if I get bored. Inertia or preoccupation might mean that there are times when I’m not acting like much of a Christian, but it still is who I am in spite of myself. Bearing that name keeps me striving to behave like one. Spending my life training and working to get better at being a Christian sounds exactly like what I want to do. It’s not all about my action, of course. When the day comes that I’m not able to hold up my faith, my faith will hold me. Until then, I want to keep working at it.
No, I’m no runner. But I am doing my darnedest to be something much better.
