I am spending the bulk of this week in Columbia, MO, in Board of Ordained Ministry meetings. I’ve been on both sides of the interview table for ordination. Twenty five years ago, the only question I remember being asked- repeatedly- was how I could be both married and an itinerant minister. (I’m pretty sure they didn’t ask the guys that question.) My interview team was made up of three people, and it was the only team that had a woman on it. I am certain that they must have asked me questions about theology and the like, but I don’t recall them. Remembering how nervously incoherent that I was at the time, I am amazed that anyone thought it worth their while to ordain me.
Fast forward twenty-five years. I’ve been sitting on the interviewer side of the table for over a dozen years. There are a lot of nervous people that come to sit in front of my team. I understand, I really do. I try to smile and joke and do whatever I can to help them give their best interview possible. I remember what it is like to be scared when it feels like so much is on the line, like career and God and stuff. Sometimes the interviews are fun and easy, akin to colleagues sitting around and talking good theology. We plumb the depths of some issues together, and we all walk away a little more enlightened than when we began. I’ve got an interesting real-life church situation that relates to my assigned interview topic of sacramental theology that I’ve been sharing with some of the candidates. It helps tease out some of their beliefs about baptism, while I’m also getting some good insights about what to do about my own situation.
Not every interview is a walk in the park. Sometimes the advance written work is lacking, and sometimes the conversation takes an unfortunate turn. When that happens, it is painful for all of us in the room. There is never any joy in an answer that is “no” or “not yet,” even when it is the right thing to do. We all know how much time and money and work and prayer it takes to get to these interviews in the first place. We know what is on the line, since we have been there ourselves. Thankfully, those hard moments are the exception, but they do exist.
So, I’m spending much of this week in interviews. Like everyone else, I have other demands on my time. In fact, I’ll need to leave early for a funeral. Although I have other places I could be, it feels important to be here this week. I’ll smile at the candidates, try to ease their nerves, ask tough questions when needed- but, I will never ever ask a candidate if they believe that they can be both happily married and in itinerant ministry. I don’t have to ask, because I know the answer for that myself.
