My mother’s birthday is Tuesday, and all of her siblings are coming to celebrate. In many families, it is not unusual for families to gather regularly. Our family has never been one for big reunions. Relatives coming this week to Kansas City from California, North Carolina, and Florida are a Big Deal for us.
I got to spend some time last night with my sister and a California Cousin. Since they live so far away and we see them so rarely, they’ve always been “The California Cousins” to me. Although we’ve been together only a handful of times, I was amazed at how quickly and easily conversation flowed last night. We were laughing at family jokes and talking about the stuff of our lives as if we had seen each other days instead of years ago. What is it about simply being “family” that creates those connections?
The three of us do share similar looks and build. Those Radford genes run deep. We share more than looks, however. We speak the same language. We can talk about Who-Who, Aunt Taddy, Honey and Money with easy familiarity. (Southerners have always been creative at family names.) We know who is married to whom and which children belong to which branch of the family. Our mothers wore the same wedding dress, and all three of us wore it too. There are so many things that bind us together.
While we were talking, it came time to nibble on some cheese and crackers. I demurred. My mouth is healing from some recent gum surgery, and soft foods are still easiest for me. That was when I discovered that my cousin has had the same surgery to fix the same congenital condition as me. As I said, those Radford genes run deep.
What is it that creates “family?” Shared language, wedding dresses, and gum problems are certainly facets of being family. Having those things in common somehow opens the door for deeper relationship that is not affected by distance or frequency of visit.
What is it that creates a church family? Perhaps it is in our genes, since we claim the same spiritual heritage. By sharing in rituals and language, we do forge bonds. We connect as we sing carols by candlelight or go on mission trips together. We become family as we pray for one another, mourn the loss of loved ones, and celebrate resurrection hope together. There may be times when those connections fade, but something still holds us together. I cannot fully define what it is that holds us together, but I know some names of what it looks like: faith, hope, and love.
And happy birthday, Mom! It is great to be part of your family.
