Many United
Methodists church people may be wondering what today’s Supreme Court decision
means for our church. It turns out that the law of the land and the law of the
UMC are sometimes different things. First of all, our Discipline is clear that
no United Methodist pastor can ever be forced to perform a wedding that they do
not wish. Other than scheduling conflicts, I’ve only said “no” once, many years
ago, to a couple whose vision for their wedding ceremony did not match my
understanding of a wedding as a sacred event. They were able to find someone
else to perform their ceremony in accordance with their wishes, but that person
did not have to be me. Likewise, any pastor of any denomination who objects to
same-sex marriage will not be forced to perform a same-sex wedding.
While no pastors can be forced to perform a wedding, United
Methodist pastors can be forced NOT to perform a wedding. In the early days of
my ministry, we were taught that we could only perform weddings for which there
was a valid marriage license. Back in the day, same-sex marriages fell under
that “valid marriage license” rule. Today, however, our Discipline goes farther
and states clearly that it is a chargeable offense for clergy to perform “ceremonies
that celebrate same-sex unions,” nor may anyone celebrate those unions within a
United Methodist church.
No matter what the Supreme Court has ruled, under church law
I am not allowed to perform same-sex marriages.
The next General Conference, which is our only venue in
which to change church law, will be next May. Delegates have been elected from
Annual Conferences throughout the world. Based on what I observe, I believe
that the delegates from the United States would likely vote to change church
law. However, 40% of General Conference delegates will come from other
countries, many of which are much more socially conservative on this issue. I am not sure that a way forward exists in our
current governance, but delegates might begin to make some changes to enable
future change.
Those are the facts. What am I feeling on this historic day?
I am so very proud of my nation, and I am thankful to live in a place where we
find some of our greatest strength in our diversity. Being a huge fan of
marriage, I’m thankful for all of the people who will now get to make a
lifelong to commitment of love and fidelity to one another in a full, legal
manner. Andy and I welcome you to the joy of marriage, saying, “Jump on in, the
water’s fine!”
I am deeply pained, however, in a day and age where millennials
find the church increasingly irrelevant, to find myself stuck on the sidelines
when people want to get married. I know good people, both gay and straight, who
stay away from the church because of this issue. It is no secret that there are
people of faith who are opposed to gay marriage, but it seems to be a
well-guarded secret that there are people of faith who support faithful, loving
marriage for all. When we are prevented from performing all marriages, the
secret is kept.
For today, though, congratulations to our nation! Congratulations to all
couples, straight and gay, who seek to live in lifelong, legal commitment to
one another, and may God grant all of us grace and strength and joy to live out our
vows.
