This week, I made a new-patient visit to a doctor. When I walked in, the receptionist and a patient were engaged in a lively, non-medical conversation. Unacknowledged, I stood there awkwardly for five minutes, unsure of what to do. When the conversation ended and I was able to approach the desk to sign in, the receptionist had disappeared. She was continuing her conversation with someone else in back. “Should I sit down?” I asked the other person in the waiting room. “Oh, yes,” she enthused. “This is the friendliest office in town.” The receptionist reappeared, welcomed the other patient by name, and led her away. A few minutes later, she returned and finally spoke to me. “Oh. You must be the new patient. Give me your insurance card.” After copying my card, she thrust some forms to me while talking on the phone to someone else. After awhile, I heard her voice coming from somewhere: “You can come back now.” Surmising that she must be talking to me, I took myself through the door, hoping to figure out where I was supposed to go. From a distance, the receptionist gestured for me to go into a windowless room. For the 30 minutes that I sat alone in that room, I heard lots of conversation going on in the hall. Things did sound very friendly and chatty- out there. There was nothing for me to do in my solitude but look at the previous patient’s x-rays, which were projected on the wall along with the patient’s name, birthdate, and other identifying information.
As I sat alone, I came to some realizations: 1) Being “in the club” was the key to feeling welcomed at that office. 2) I did not know how long it would take me to get “in the club,” nor did I have any personal or professional investment in trying. 3) There were other doctors in the community. And so I left after thirty minutes in isolation.
Now, look back at this story and insert the word “church” for “doctor’s office.” (Okay, you can take out the part about insurance information, too.) It is possible to be the friendliest church in town- to each other- yet still leave the new person standing awkwardly by themselves. It is an easy trap to fall into; after all, if we didn’t like one another, we probably wouldn’t worship, learn and serve together for too long. When we come together for worship, it is a great time to reconnect with Christian friends that we haven’t seen all week. But- if we focus too much on our own friendships, then we may miss out on that new person who is standing there awkwardly.
If someone pays us the ultimate compliment of coming to our house to worship, then we need to be ready to roll out the welcome mat. We need to be willing to walk away from our comfortable conversations to speak to the person we don’t know. Rather than sit in our usual spot, we need to sit with the newcomer, even if it means that we sit closer to the front than we prefer. We need to seek out those who aren’t yet “in,” to help them find their way. Otherwise, newcomers will walk out and never walk in our doors again, and we might miss a chance to change a life.
