“How is everyone doing?” Many kind people have asked me this
question these past few days. Following the untimely death of Michelle
Mueller-Hinton, our beloved Director of Christian Education and Learning Ladder
Preschool, everyone- friends, teachers, children, church members, staff, and
family, especially family- everyone is grieving. Grieving itself is a good gift
of God, and it is a part of becoming whole, even in the grip of loss.
How is everyone doing their grieving has been
powerful to see. I’ve seen it on Sunday morning in worship and Monday and
Tuesday mornings in preschool. Of course there are tears, and there are those
hugs that are actually a way for two people to hold each other up. There are loving
conversations in homes and in hallways and in grocery stores and everywhere
else. There are circles of people praying in our classrooms. There are people
coming down the Sunday school hall to say, “Here I am. Do you need me to go
teach or just help somewhere?” (We did.) There are staff members who are putting in long hours to do double and triple duty to make sure everything is covered, even as they are grieving deeply themselves. There are so very many acts of kindness, big and
small. These are assurances that we will
all get through this grief together, and we will.
One of my favorite acts of kindness that I’ve witnessed was
the person who brought donuts to the Learning Ladder staff, saying “Food is my
love language.” Even when people don’t know exactly what to do, I keep seeing
people do what is exactly right. People have offered and continue to offer to
help the church, the preschool, and each other get through this time. Thank
you. You are truly making a difference.
There is laughter, too, and that’s good. There are the
moments when something comes up, and we’ll say automatically, “Oh, let’s ask
Michelle. . .” And then a rueful smile, or a tear, or a chuckle. All of these
things are a part of how we grieve, and they are along the path to healing.
How are the children doing? Mostly, they are doing what children
do, which is play together and process things at their own pace in their own
manner. When Michelle would be asked by parents how to help their children deal
with loss, she would recommend the book The
Fall of Freddie the Leaf, by Leo Buscaglia. It’s a good book for all ages, and I join Michelle in commending
it to you.
On Saturday, we’ll celebrate Michelle’s life with joy and
laughter, along with tears. All of these things can coexist at the same time in
grief.
How is everyone doing? We are doing this grief together,
which is the best and only way that it can be done. Which is exactly how
Michelle would do it, too.
